Fellow men of God, I hope that our first encounter encouraged you to see beyond your immediate self and also allowed you to reflect on these roles that we all have or ‘play’ during the course of the day (and life journey). As I mentioned in our last article, I am also applying these truths to myself. I know that my “son” role was not what it should be; hence, I am trying to be the son that God expects me to be for my parents.
My mum celebrated her 65th birthday and she wanted to mark this occasion. Therefore, I decided to spend the whole weekend with her and with the rest of the family‒ consisting of my sister and her two daughters and of course my own family. We simply went to the beach on both days, and just spent time enjoying each other. This is something that I have not done for a very long time. The only member missing was my brother, but he is abroad. Therefore, we are looking forward to have him in the future and experience this again.
I am also working on being more available to my sister and my brother. Though he is living in another country, communication means are developing rapidly today. There is no real reason when it comes to why I cannot “talk” to him often. If you have kept your relationship going and frequent, though you are now married and busy with your family, then I can only congratulate you! It is important to keep the family ties. As men, we are to set examples.
One of the most important quality required, is definitely the capacity to take responsibility or be responsible. As a man, in whatever roles we find ourselves, we are to be responsible people.
We can find in both the Old and New Testaments that God charged men with honouring him by taking great care of his creations. You must remember that after creating Adam & Eve, God commanded them to take control over the whole of creation. It was their responsibility, but they failed. Humankind’s role has always been to look after this planet and the many things that live upon it. Nevertheless, history and story tells us of our continuous failures. Men have simply given up their responsibility.
What about the responsibility in the family life today? Regretfully, with the quick and never-endingly declining moral standards and the negative effects of the shifting cultural roles, men seem no longer aware that they remain THE responsible one for their families. What would happen if fathers remain passive or unavailable? The consequences can be devastating! Unfortunately, they are already devastating in so many countries, and our little island is not free from this.
Children become more disobedient and disrespectful. Wives become more and more anxious, and frustrated, burdened with the needless cares (many of which were never meant to be their responsibilities). Finances and daily schedules become tangled and chaotic. Family communications frequently becomes stressful and antagonistic, if they ever exist at all! The sad part is that many wives believe that the only way to avoid or to rectify their family’s problems is to take charge of them themselves. In so doing, they are assuming responsibilities God never intended them to shoulder. This in itself does not seem bad; somehow, someone has to stand up for the family and the problems. HOWEVER, in doing so, they unwittingly foster other, more serious issues.
Therefore, my fellow men, think about it for a minute, what can a wife do when her husband no longer shows any interest in taking any decisions.
She no longer receives the support or commitment she desires from him and begins to slowly shutdown emotionally and physically. On the other hand, what interest can a man have when his wife demonstrates her self-sufficiency boldly? No longer experiencing the respect and admiration he needs from his wife, the man likewise begins to distance himself from that relationship. As he also retreats, the wife assumes more of the authority and responsibility. While this is going on, the kids are watching.
Sociologist Winter once observed, “We have the tendency today to assume that we can eliminate the authority of husband over wife, and yet retain the authority of husband-wife over the children. The Bible is more realistic about marriage than modern man, for the truth is that in disobeying the one hierarchy we destroy the other”
We all know that in the business world, when a business fails, it is always the head of the company who is held responsible and not the normal workers. So, as the head of the home, the husband and father is responsible for the condition, whether good, bad, or indifferent.
As the Bible mentions it, “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive,” 1 Timothy 3:4. Husbands have been given the stewardship of the household!
How is that project going?
Just look around us, we find a lot of broken homes, fragmented families, lonely children. If we dig into these situations, we find that the root cause is the refusal of the man to take responsibility.
Ask yourself, is there any indication that you might have failed to accept the mantle of authority (and not of dominion) that God has given you?
It’s great if you are the head of a well ordered home. But if it is not the case, there is no reason to despair. You can still be the head of your home, and the husband God intended you to be.
What can you tell about your responsibilities? Are you passing them down to others or are you standing up?